Let’s start this blog off right by telling the truth….being single is NOT easy…..waiting on God is NOT easy……and being celibate is NOTTTTTTTT easy lol. If I have learned anything during the course of this journey it’s definitely those 3 things…..however, a couple of years ago I got to my breaking point………….
I was feeling overwhelmed and my emotions were all over the place. I decided I needed some fresh air so I took Morris (my dog) to the dog park in my neighborhood. When I got there the dog park was empty which was great because I really didn’t feel like being around anyone. As I was sitting there watching Morris play and run around I started to pray to myself (it was more like a venting session than anything). I cried as I was sitting on the park bench asking God that one question………why? Why do I have to go through this? Why did you tell me to do this (celibacy)? It’s too much I can’t take it!!!!!! I was crying out to Him, expecting Him to comfort me and tell me I could do it or pat me on the back…….or something lol. Right in the middle of my prayer/vent session, God spoke to me as clear as day. He said “Keanté, you have made your singleness more about you than you have made it about Me. Immediately I stopped crying because I knew He was right!!! I put way tooo much focus on myself then I did Him. I didn’t pray every day, my spiritual growth was stagnant and I was focusing too much on worldly things than on pursuing my purpose and chasing after Him. I left that park with a new mindset; I NEED TO CHANGE MY FOCUS…….
Many single women focus on MARRIAGE! We focus on the dress, what future hubby gonna look like, what marriage life will be like, what your children will look like, and etc. We focus our whole singleness on “waiting” and “marriage”. Let me tell you the reason for my so called mental breakdown in the park lol. I GOT FRUSTRATED!!!! Plan and simple!!!!! I was getting tired of waiting, and waiting, and waiting that I couldn’t take it no more. I knew God had someone for me but frustration was eating up every bit of my patience lol. Every year that went by I would say ok this is the year; it’s going to happen this year but it didn’t. The more I anticipated it the more frustrated I became. That’s because I placed my focus on marriage and not on what it was supposed to be on……..GOD! He let me know that He had more for me than just being someone’s wife and that my purpose goes beyond changing my last name. God wants you to relax and be anxious for nothing. He will be with you during your singleness. Matthew 6:33 states:
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
How you view your life is like a camera with a super zoom feature. When you focus on an object, that object becomes the clearest object in the picture while everything else becomes bury and not so visible. What you “zoom” into is what will be the clearest. Try taking your hand and putting it in front of your face. All you can see is your hand right? Now take your hand down and now you can see the whole room. God wants you to see the entire room and not just the hand itself. Marriage is just a piece of the puzzle but it’s not the whole puzzle. Shift your focus today. Zoom in on God instead so He can show you the entire room. Take your hand down……your purpose is somewhere in the room!!!!! #Refocus